Sunday, October 31, 2004
so disappointed.. after all the fuss and stuff, one call end it all.. haiz.. so in the end didnt get to be OGL liao lor.. sian.. haiz.. but maybe it is meant to be la.. just hope sth good will come out of the dunno wad orientation cca thingy lor.. haiz..
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oh no.. why are things becoming like that? pls let me get over this silliness.. haiz..
freedom in her soul at 10:32:00 PM

everyone's chasing the 'ghost' haha
freedom in her soul at 3:15:00 AM

the 'ghost' at kbox.. but think we nv collect our free drink sia.. haha
freedom in her soul at 3:14:00 AM

ht, me and xiong at the backseat.. die die also muz take pic of our outing.. haha
freedom in her soul at 3:13:00 AM

zj in the front seat~
freedom in her soul at 3:13:00 AM
**OMG! THE BLOG ACTUALLY DELETE WAD I JUST TYPE! freak sia.. have to type again.. anyway...**
just got back from suntech.. finally ru yuan yi chang, got to sing le.. haha kinda long nv go kbox liao ma.. somemore also 1st time singing with xiong.. i think he got the voice of jackie chan leh.. the deep deep kind! so when he sing the 'jackie-and-sammi' duet with ht, it sounds super nice lor! haha although we pretty much sang a lot of oldies from my parents' time, i think we sang pretty well lor.. haha so fun going out with them lor.. haha even though i will be broke for the whole of next week, i dun mind lor.. we even plan hao to watch shark tales next week.. with ker of coz.. she recently kinda busy with her canoe training.. haiz.. i am very glad that the whole gang still go out regularly.. i wonder how many of the 4e1 pple still met up (outside sch) as often as us.. hope it will become a routine to go out every week.. like last time when xiong, jy, jx and i will go for movies EVeRy sat after band.. haIz..
oh btw, happy halloween! haha can u believe they even celebrate halloween at kbox? 1stly we had some new cocktails-kvampire and kmonster which definately live up to their name.. HoRRibLE~ haha it is either too sweet or taste like pi ka ko.. haha den they also ask us to take photos of this 'ghost' who will pass by the corridors. very lame rite? but we still did lor! (or rather xiong did.. haha) it is just basically a guy with a mask wearing some garbage bags lor.. haha poor guy also, everyone was like chasing and cornering 'it' for the free drinks for those who have a pic of 'it'.. haha and just when we thought the fever is over, the 'ghost' charged into our room and basically give us a scare.. haha but i think i was more of stunned den scared ba.. sort of like "hUh?!" lor.. haha..
so, around $40 in exchange for a night like this? i think it is worth it~ haha ^_^
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waiting for the whole night.. i am still waiting.. haiz.. guess it is not happening again tonight..
shou qian shou, wo de pang you.. ai yong yuan, zai ni zhuo you..
freedom in her soul at 2:46:00 AM
Saturday, October 30, 2004
so sian can! i thought finally after 3 days of installing and uninstalling can play liao but still.. argh... haiz.. just now when the sims2 started to load the game thought can play liao. i even screamed on the phone! den SUDDENLY the whole thing crashed! sth wrong with the graphics and stuff.. nvm i restart the com and load the game.. anticipation sia.. den crashed again~ -_-" i guess no one can blame me when i screamed again.. this time in horror, anger, sadness, everything la.. OmG~ now how? sian liao lor.. i think daniel also sian of teaching me how to fix this game liao.. haiz.. why my laptop so bu zhen qi~~ sad sia.. nvm later going out with zj, xiong and ht.. dunno will do wad. i call the cinemas all full hse liao!! waste all my efforts.. see see, talk talk den go home lor.. can go kbox or not? hehx..
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wo xiang, wo deng, wo qi dai, ke shi ni zui zhong hai shi mei lai.. {waiting..}
freedom in her soul at 5:11:00 PM
now late hour still on the phone with jj and cy.. haha very funny we talking to each other but each using computer. jj playing gunbound, cy playing cm, me, of coz, blogging lor.. haha.. today dunno go sch for wad use.. nv attend lessons at all lor.. haha spend almost the whole time sitting at the rockwall mattress talking.. haha.. in the end at 12 den go get report.. haiz.. my class got one retainee.. i dunno.. feel sad for him lor.. it is like a lot of pple have come and go.. chantel had left also liao.. haiz.. on the brighter note i got into the OGL thingy!~ haha well very look forward to it.. heez.. i will be joining with the odac pple.. dunno they in the end got enuff pple to form a family ma.. haiz.. anyway i also dunno my gp pple.. hope it is with some pple that i noe well ba.. but also kinda pointless ba.. haha tml finally get to sleep late-no pw meetings, no nuthing! yea~ haha but gotta try installing the sims2 AgAiN.. haiz very sian can.. i think i had installed and uninstalled the game at least 3 times liao lor.. den jj tell me each time u uninstalled, the memory will decrease.. -_-" haiZ~ maybe should have bought the original in the 1st place.. haha
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maybe i should feel happy? ya i should..
freedom in her soul at 2:25:00 AM
Thursday, October 28, 2004
just came back from another tution session with jj.. saw seowling, yuxi and my other band juniors at mac.. talked to them for one hour plus.. den saw jiayu and belinda who were going for movies. jy say she tml exam liao but still can come watch movie! damn relax lor.. haha she told me the prom is on 30th.. suay suay the day i reach s'pore.. should i go? $55 leh.. anyway i wun be able to go early also.. but all my friends will be there... haiz.. dilema sia.. but i think most prob i wun be going ba.. went to eat with jj, xavier and eva before playing pool.. so long nv touch liao of coz lose till bad bad lor.. anyway playing with them is so diff with playing with ht and ker they all.. things are more relax with ht they all ba..
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wad an irony.. but thanks a lot.. the fact that u smsed me because u haven heard from me for a long time and because u are just concerned with my studies really touch me.. although u might not even noe it, u really cheered me up.. u made me realise that there are other things i should appreciate in my life.. thanks i wun disappoint u and good luck to u too~ ^_^
thanks for pei-ing me the whole afternoon and just being urself.. dunno wad will happen to me if i stay any longer at home.. haha i hope we will still be friends after ur exams.. anyway, do ur work and cya tml~
ta de shi chen yao dao le.. where are u going? i wonder if u will tell me or should i ask? had u told me in the past? i'm sorry i forgot.. i really cannot remember! i noe i can't be of any help to u now but anyway hope u will take care wherever u are.. maybe i should tell u.. i think u would understand.. but den i think u have too much on ur hands.. haha dun die so early hor.. u haven set relay system yet..
u are right. i hate it when u are right.. but things aint the same anymore.. thanks anyway..
freedom in her soul at 1:19:00 AM
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
seen something i shldn't have saw.. a pair of shoes, a locked door.. wad esle will it lead to? am i thinking too much? i muz be.. yet the signs are so clear.. i can't lie to myself and pretend i didnt see anything.. wad shld i do? everything seems like a drama serial.. it can't be... no it can't be.. this is too much to handle..1st jh, den my grandfather and now.. i can't do this.. my heart's so heavy.. yet my head feels light.. no it's not happening.. nooooooooooooooooo.....
freedom in her soul at 1:59:00 PM
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
just finish watching csi.. now gotta write cue cards and memorise the script.. haiz everything is so last min. ate dinner with ht and ker at orchard mac. haha so lame rite go all the way there to eat mac.. but still got shop a bit and took neo prints.. if my scanner is working i would post it but too bad.. haiz no matter how hi tech machines u give me i will still dunno wad to use one.. sian tml op dry run liao.. by next week everything will be over finally..
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i wanna hit u. hit u so hard that u fall. fall to the ground. with a stuned look on ur face. before u can say anything, taste of blood. sweet and metallic. flow through ur tongue. touch ur face only to find that u are bleeding. then, pain. excruciating pain surged through ur senses. that u cry and choke.
that's when i turn and walk away. with a satisfied smile on my face. my fantasy.
i was surrounded by darkness. i tried to find my way out, groping at nothingness. lost. pleading for help only to find noone's there. help.. help.. echo's my only answer yet it is fading away...
you are in the light. surrounded by pple u love. u are able to see. the colours and other pretty sights. how beautiful the world is..
i almost gave up. but den i found a way. my other senses were sharpened with the loss of sight. my ears were able to hear the wind around the corner. the smell of fresh air led me out. in short, in darkness, the loss of my sight led me to my freedom.
you continued living in ur world of falseness.. blinded by ur sight. poisoned by speech. u will never get out of the maze like i had. because u only see what u want to see and hear what u want to hear. the world is beautiful. only when u see it without sight. till den, u are worst den the state i was in. coz u dun even noe that u are lost and trapped in the most complicated maze of all-life.
so whose the one who can't see now?
freedom in her soul at 11:43:00 PM
Monday, October 25, 2004
today skip a lot of lessons.. haha got the 1st three months feeling.. haha but we still gotta do pw.. tml going to skip lessons again and after school also have to do pw.. sian till cannot sian liao.. lois, by and i stayed in the library and 'queued' like forever for a computer.. and when we got one, we only use for half hour den crap for another half hour.. although i was gulity for initiating the crappiness, i can't help it.. i am that sian.. haiz.. dunno why, we went for bio lect.. in the end the whole audi only got 6 pple! 1st time i see the audi so few pple during a lect.. like feel so cold like that.. den the silence is so thick lor.. haha worse of all i think i wun take another look at wad i had copied again.. haiz.. like wasted 45 mins.. haha but afterall also got nowhere to go liao.. and i see tml the cycle will repeat.. THAT'S WHY I DUN WANNA GO TO SCH! haha okie a bit ji dong here but still.. haiz.. den skip cL before having our 'chalet-planning' discussion.. kinda looking forward to it.. 1st time i see teacher so enthu abt a cls gathering.. haha
went home sleep for 2 hours before meeting my "student" or make that "studentS".. xavier was there also.. he wanted me to teach him phy but i nv take phy! he tml test liao but everything also dunno.. haha their gang ar.. all the same one lor.. hahaha but i kinda envy that kind of thinking also.. for most of us, we would cry and get all so stressed up if we dun do well. but for them it is like so relax and they have that kind of 'nvm, i can do again' mentality.. haha anyway i promised i would teach jj on wed and thur.. i even gave him work to do.. haha hope it will be productive ba.. or esle we always talk and talk and nv do anything de.. haha very funny one..
okie gotta go slp liao or esle tml my pw members will suffer from my crappiness and restlessness.. heHx..
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you?! my foot ar!
i wanna go!!~~ it is so unfair! i had always wanted to.. oh man~~ sucks! feeling so damn jealous now..
no matter how well u try to hide it, i noe..
freedom in her soul at 11:59:00 PM
Sunday, October 24, 2004
dunno why now so free so decided to change the template.. haha nice ma? i think too bright le la.. haiz.. nvm temp 1st lor.. anyway i can't seem to be able to put in the tagboard without distorting the whole thing. it seems like when i put in the tagboard, the whole blog content will go underneath it instead of just side by side as seen now.. hmm.. puzzling,, haiz.. i am not good with html..
freedom in her soul at 10:15:00 PM
just got back from another pw session again.. as i predicted we still haven finish!! omg this coming wed is the dry run liao and still haven finish.. thankfully we on the last day.. haha but sian still have to go to sch on wed.. heck.. already dun feel like going to sch tml liao.. haha most prob will pon afew lessons like gp or cl.. speaking of which i still have cl hmwk to do sia.. haha
anyway got a little short-circuited early this morning.. now shall re-type wad i said.. haiz.. feel so stupid to re-type.. like all the feelings gone liao.. haha
went to meet ht, zj and xiong yest at ps. long time nv see xiong and zj liao! miss them so much haha or rather miss their jokes and lameness ba.. haha anyway we went to watch "yesterdayoncemore" or "long feng men (dou? wadever)" nice movie!! the storyline is so sweet and funny! ht said i laugh quite a lot during the show when everyone in the theatre is quiet.. haha did i? but some since are really funny! haha but i dun like the ending! so sad... yet sweet.. haiz.. it is a movie that makes pple keep on thinking abt it one lor.. although it is a bit confusing and stuff, in the end i am sure every girl wish they will meet a guy as thoughtful and sweet as the character andy lau played.. haha
ht had to go home early coz she have a pw-phone-conference (see! pw spoils all the fun!), so i also went home early.. we very qiao one lor! when zj and xiong song us to the mrt, we saw kenny, eileen they all. den str away after they went in, andy came out! haha qiao rite? so we decided to stay at the mrt to see if we can meet more pple.. haha! anyway we continue crapping there and end up taking a lot of photos on my phone.. haha so funny can! haiz.. hope can get to meet more often with the whole gang.. ^_^ oh ya! one person abandon our singles' group liao.. sad ar.. den the rest of us muz jiayou liao! haha can't believe the girls' yan guang so bad! we actually lost.. haha that guy also so bu zhen qi!~~ disappoint us.. haha but shld have seen it coming liao.. anyway guys' round is over, time for the girls'.. haha..
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you are my once upon a time and will always be.. i have been in this before and i shall be in it again..
freedom in her soul at 8:12:00 PM

me, zj, ht and xiong
freedom in her soul at 3:20:00 AM
hell.. i type finish the entry liao den my bro dc me.. always like that one leh! hell.. spend so much time on it den dc me... @##$%$$# and still dare say i'm sorry didnt noe u still using.. hell lor.. second time in a week liao lor.. 1st time when i dling maplestory.. 3 hours liao half way there den dc me.. fish.. sian dun feel like typing the whole thing again liao.. wadever..
-did pw
-watch "yesterday once more" w/ ht, xiong and zj
wtf forget it
ArGhhG~
freedom in her soul at 3:09:00 AM

lamers.. -_-"
freedom in her soul at 3:03:00 AM

us again!~
freedom in her soul at 3:01:00 AM
Friday, October 22, 2004
talk on the phone from 11 plus all the way till 2am.. haha i think i haven been chatting on the phone for such a loonnng time liao.. can't believe a bunch of guys can actually talk and even gossip like girls for 3 hours?! haha okie even though most of the time they are talking abt soccer and stuff but still.. haha anyway i enjoyed listening to them.. so funny their conversation.. i just wonder why other pple can't see that they are very easy to talk to.. well.. i suppose this world is just like that ba.. just used to relying on 1st impressions and sterotypes.. but den i have to suffer this morning.. feel like a zombie when i woke.. omg.. not enuff sleep for 3 days straight.. you should have seen my expression during bio tutorial today.. think i look a fish with my eyes open so big to pevent me from falling asleep.. skip bio lect today.. shouldnt haven since they are going through the structured qns.. guess i will pay for that one day.. but i just cannot stand it and btw it is open house!! the odac room was open so i sort of stayed there etc.. actually there wasn't suppose to be any cca thingy going on but den the seasports pple start promoting so every other group sort of joined in also.. haha..crapped a lot with elaine, zheeloong and weijian.. walked around school with vanessa.. accompanied lois and boon yong to eat.. i think i had a lot of fun basically! haha jasmine also came back to see us! we gave her her bday present and took a lot of pictures in the field and library haha! miss her lots!~ haiz.. i took bus 28 and guess who i saw at paya lebar bus stop? HwEeTeNg!! hahah so qiao rite? oMg~ can't believe it lor.. but too bad i had to rush home 1st to print my minutes or esle can go meeting with her.. haha think can buy 4d tml liao.. 2828 haha! the camp preparations is finalising liao.. they are so hardworking that i feel so guilty for not doing my part.. should ker had asked me to present my report i would have been so embarrassed.. haiz.. gotta meet up with zulia to discuss soon.. ate with the whole gang.. crapped a lot with shihui and belinda.. so fast they taking o's liao.. haiz.. anyway supposed to teach jingjie today but he say he is tired and anyway it is also too late.. haha
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thanks.. really i feel much better talking to u.. even though it had made me feel even more helpless and useless, i'm just glad i am able to talk to someone abt it.. everyone esle seemed so fake just trying to ignore it.. although it came out distorted, i hope u understand wad i meant.. haha thanks..
sorry.. for acting so funny around u.. u might have felt puzzled or maybe u didnt even notice, which i wun be surprsied at all.. just.. sorry for my irresponsibility and my... i am childish being that way but i can't help it.. arghH.. sorrY!!
i am so lost.. wad are u trying to do? i keep sensing a motive from u.. i'm glad.. yet suspicious.. i dun trust u.. dun play mind games with me..
i hope i didnt make u hurt or upset with my actions.. i am just so weak and helpless.. i can't imagine how u had felt.. how come i didnt even think of that?! omg~ i am so selfish!
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it has been a long week.. just let me sleep it through another day.. maybe.. just maybe i will be stronger tomorrow..
freedom in her soul at 11:27:00 PM
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
okie got promoted la.. but so sian results so damn lousy.. can't believe my bio and chem so lan~~ sad sia.. but wadever la.. dun really care much.. at least for now ba..
i dunno why but i can't help worrying.. although u got her for it but something tells me.. i dunno? i just feel something's wrong.. tell me how can i help u coz i really dunno how on my own.
feeling so weak.. hope gastric prob not too serious.. dun wanna end up like my bro..
ArGhh..
freedom in her soul at 11:52:00 PM
Monday, October 18, 2004
well well sunday's over just like that i guess.. still got the freaking pw thingy to do.. haiz.. will not comment anymore on it in case all my vulgarities fly out.. haha
mom bought 2 new massage thingy.. one is a foot thingy another is a massage chair which will arrive on tue.. haha she said she bought them on impluse and stuff.. actually i like seeing my mom spending money on luxury goods (in her case, pots and pans are included.) coz she will always give a sheepish smile when she tell me wad she bought.
daryk called and asked me if i wanna go for obs this year. should i go? i've always wanna to go obs and if i dun go this year i dun think i will ever get to go in this lifetime! haha a bit exaggarated ya? haha but only 5 people can go leh.. like very unfair hor.. although i am free during those days but still dunno wanna go or not.. i mean my dec hols is alreay very busy le.. odac overseas camp, 2e1 chalet, sca chalet, selection camp and hopefully can get into ogl thingy also.. haiz..
okie better get back to pw.. can't wait for it to be over.
freedom in her soul at 1:27:00 AM
Sunday, October 17, 2004
will start typing all the stuff i need to do.. haiz.. there goes my sunday..
freedom in her soul at 3:17:00 PM
tried to tidy up my blog but to no avail.. haiz.. guess will do that when i more free ba.. why so not free now? i got 2 things due by today but too lazy to do them now.. plus i need so help too.. dunno where to find.. hiaz..
did pw today.. sian. the OP coming in like 2 weeks or so den muz gan it liao. after that den have to gan cl aoLevel.. can't wait for like one more month den can reAlLy rest le.. ya rite.. surely got other stuff to do one lor.. sian rite? life is so busy.. haha one step at a time lor..
can't stop thinking abt it.. going crazy.. can't stop smiling.. haiz..gotta get over it.. but.. ^_^
freedom in her soul at 1:36:00 AM
Saturday, October 16, 2004
wed
finally over.. bliss..
areyougoingareyougoingareyougoing? well i'm not..
k:remember to bring extra mike hor..
such irony.. i thought u are my friend.. *smile* you are wad.. i dunno why but i just have to laugh at u.. u actually believed.. haha but nvm it was put to good use.. and sing more.. u will improve ur cl.. haha
(shit shld be doing my minutes now..heck la still got tml)
thur
taste of the 1st kill.. can't wait for more..
fri
..u mean we come all the way just to get 2 pieces of paper?? wasted haiz.. zhen mei yuan fen..
"wo men dou mei cuo, zi shi bu shi he.."
you can't see a shooting star everyday or even once in a decade. it doesn't come as u wish or by any other means man made. and they dun stay for long either. that makes them so special isn't it? so when u encounter one, where ever u are, stop and enjoy its beauty and be glad that u have seen it. dun try to clasp it in ur hand coz u will be even sadder when it pass u by. but when u do feel sad just look up and u will see all those stars shining on u. den be reminded that there will always be a next shooting star. u just have to be patient. oh, remember to make a wish! shooting stars bring hope. that makes them so special isn't it?
i think i passed promos.. YeA
2046! tomorrow ba..
ray?ray!!
hunted but no prey. out of armo too.
why do u give that kind of expression? wad is that suppose to mean? u think lowly of them dun u?
i'm worried but i can't show it.. i wan to tell u to stop.. stop harming urself.. but how come my concern came out seemingly like encouragements? does.. she noes? i dun dare ask..
i am waiting for a shooting star too.. have it passed by me without me noticing?
freedom in her soul at 1:36:00 AM
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
reliving the scenes of yesterdays.. will i become the me of tomorrow.. hearing wad she said, seeing wad she did.. some things just never change.. i feel sorry for for u.. i wish i can do much more den u say i can.. but i can't.. i will try but meanwhile sorry..
...i can't believe i blushed at that again.. i think the last time it happen was when i was sec1.. ...dun try to act cute.. it will just remind me of someone i shouldnt be thinking of.. omg i muz have sounded so foolish to you.. maybe i should just stop trying.. wait wad am i trying for? nuthing is gonna work.. i dun wan it to work anyway..as always..
...one more day...
read ur card yesterday.. 2 years ago but yes i still remember..'' for the times.. i will always TREASURE them too.. do u realli mean wad u say? *wink*
'yensoon? who? oh i remember now..' i am surprised he still remembers me.. haha.. shows that we can always retrace our roots.. i never remembered if i was any friend to u but thanks for anknowledging me as ur friend..
'...dun worry dun cry..' reliving the scenes of yesterdays.. will i become the me of tomorrow..
freedom in her soul at 7:08:00 PM
i am very surprise if anyone is still reading this i haven been updating for like months liao.. well.. i tot i will delete this blog den but now i'll just see ba.. somethings are just too personal to be shared and some things just.. well, look differently to be written down.. however some things no matter how sad, embarrassing etc it is i still wanna note it down coz i noe i will activate my forget-system to those memories i dun wanna remember..i cant really form sentences out of my tots so i guess i will just note wad that comes and goes..
freedom in her soul at 6:59:00 PM